||
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
|| || 1:49 am ||
The Slashed Crystal
The lucidity of Crystal no more!
A beleaguered pain in her soul-
Slashed with the sharpest knife
As blood gushes in anger,
The pain, she no more feels,
Shadows the lugubriousness of life-
Perfect in her eyes!
That black eyes that was once magical,
Reflected her name Crystal deep within
But now the charm lost,
To the several scars in her body
Yet a sense of satisfaction
Running through the mind
Unexplained unless experienced!
Thoughts swirl in all directions
A desire crosses her heart,
To reach the zenith of happiness
Like the factitious dream she crafted-
That which contrasts largely to her veracity
Tears of agony roll down her cheeks
Dejection sails again
Another slash across her wrist!
Liberation for her soul-
The ephemeral pleasure she seeks
Reflects the escalation of her misery
Joy has lost its authentic meaning
For now joy has become-
The spectacle of red blood!
Streaming in greatness!
Crystal has become a contrast-
To her dream,
To the implication of her name
For now the slashes
Reflect her the best!
WoOo... that would be my last entry for this year... and ThX to u guys who helped me to build some hope in my heart abt the coming year... and yes Queen of Hopes has regained her hopes for 2004... heHe.. look out for my 1st posting of 2004...its gonna make everyone happy! haHa..
__________-HER-__________
||
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
|| || 10:53 am ||
Memories... They Stay Better As They Are... Memories...
"One of the luckiest things that can happen to you in life is to have a happy childhood. I had a very happy childhood."--anonymous.
Well, i had a very happy childhood too. In fact i feel it's the best phase of my life.
Memories of your childhood often flow through your mind, whether it's a pleasant innocent dream or a viciously tormenting nightmare. Many of us i would say have had a beautiful childhood. Sometimes you'd just wish that you were back there in such a stress-free environment where probably the only kind of decisions you had to make is to choose between Vanilla or Chocolate flavoured ice-cream. Exams were chicken feet *i dun understand why chicken feet is used for such description*. The only nagging we get is to clear up our toys. There were hardly any homework back then that we could spend our entire day just watching TV.
Now, you wish you were back in those carefree days again don't you? But then again, someone else said, "Never go back to a place where you have been happy. Until you do, it remains alive for you. If you go back it will be destroyed." I totally agree with that. When you visit a place for the second time, it just never seems the same. Since we can't go back in time, we can always bring childhood into the present rite? It's always ok to cry like a baby when you're feeling really down. It's also alright to play and have fun like a little child all over again. Nobody's stopping you. Yes... there's no way you can turn back time, no way you can walk that path again. Things change... it always changes for the better.
Now, as young adults, we have the power to make our own choices. We have the freedom of doing things we never could when we were younger. There are experiences that we have never encountered and would never encounter if we had stayed in our childhood. Not only do we have a mind of our own now. We can still recreate the beautiful parts of our childhood and make them part of our lifestyle today. It can be as simple as going to the playground and sit on the swing. You never know what kind of miracles it does. Who knows... thinking may be made much simpler... not so complexed.
It's the same for the New Year ahead. 2004. Why dread it? Just because you can't bear to leave 2003 behind? Is it fair for 2004? Aren't you being biased? 2004 hasn't even arrived and proven itself. Yes... we always fear the unknown but it's only fair to give it a chance to show itself. If it turns out positive... then well... good! But if it turns out the other way... then it'll be a new experience... a lesson to learn from, a lesson from which will make days ahead better ones.
2003 may have been a wonderful year but nobody said you can't bring all the wonderful things along with you to 2004. I always believe the year ahead would be a better one. Why? Because not only will it bring new surprises to life, I can also choose to continue the pleasant things of this year and leave the unwanted behind. It's like a filter. Bring only the things that will make the new year a better one. The new year doesn't have to be TOTALLY new. Anyway, 1st January 2004 is just a tomorrow of 31st December 2003. It's just like any other tomorrows.
OK... let's see... if Mr Time could really turn back time... how could you be sure that those pleasant moments you had would not be destroyed? 2003 would not be 2003 anymore. It wouldn't be as beautiful as the memory you have of it.
2004 would be a better year!!!
***hello! The leaves will not die before autumn! Spring will take good care of it ok?! And I'm sure they'll live through summer as well!!!
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
|| || || 2:48 am ||
As The Year Ends (Part Two)
If I have just one wish now, I would wish to stop this year from ending and the next year from starting.
Then,
I would rewind the time all the way back to January 2003.
Why?
Not because I wanna edit my mistakes and make the whole path perfect...NO! I just wanna experience the whole joy again. The wonders of how everything started. I would make the same mistakes again...so that I would learn...In this way, I would know the importance of each moment shared. This time I would cherish every moment. Every moment shared with family, friends and ...
Perhaps this time round, certain relationships would be saved... some would have started earlier... some would have nurtured further...and a few that shouldn't have began would't have began...and then those that were feared to start would have started...
But you know Mr Time? The cruelty he holds in his power...he never turns back...fast forwards...or even stop! He is too selfish to allow people to enjoy the special moments...if only he knows how to pause time when...
Mr Time now shall be called the Mr Cruel-Powered Time!
2003 It taught me a lot. Too much that now I fear the upcoming year. That every step I take may be a mistake. It is just so scary. Or maybe it's the ending that brings me a fear. Ending, termination, full stop. But I know you would say that that is when a new beginning comes in place... but for me... I ain't looking for that new beginning.
I prefer the old... I would rather allow the old to nurture... The new beginning if there ever is would be the cultivation of the old. That isn't exactly new...
I just want the old... but will it be the same as before? Would there be hurdles awaiting me if I choose this? And most importantly do I have the inner strength for the race? And yes...Do I have hopes? Now Queen of Hopes is doubting herself...
The crazy suppression of my hurdles in the past... I had enough... Enough! If there is more to come, I would no longer know my path... The only path visible is the one that has the door so tightly shut...It hurts to open it but once I enter, it becomes easy. All I have to do is to take a plunge...and it's over...
It's the first time ever in my 18 years... I ain't looking forward for the coming year. Maybe 2003 was just too much for me...Too special for me. Nope not maybe, it is!! For now I fear the ending of it. I am living through the final days of 2003 in great thoughts, fear, happiness, surprise and pain.
2004 What would you bring? I ain't looking forward for you. I do not know why. 2003 captured my heart too much. Maybe 2004 would be a major turning point in my life... maybe everything would dramatically change... maybe the night sky will never have stars again... maybe the leaves will die even before the arrival of autumn...
Maybe
Maybe
For the gone yesterdays
For the unexpected tomorrows
I cry today
__________-HER-__________
|| || || 12:00 am ||
Weird stuffs do happen...
"But there is a balance to it all. One withers, another grows. Birth and death are part of a whole." ----from jaz's entry...
have you guys ever seen a chinese funeral being held at a void deck and a malay wedding being held at another void deck not too far away? well, actually i've noticed it quite a few times. whenever there's a funeral, there'll be a wedding nearby. makes me wonder. the first time, i thot it was mere coincidence... bad coincidence. then it happens again and again...
a life lost,
a union takes place,
a new life to be born.
i guess that explains huh?
but still not very nice to have the both so near rite? weird....
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
||
Friday, December 26, 2003
|| || 6:03 pm ||
Trapped In A Body, He Can't Express
Specially written for Adam Susser
The strange perplexity of God's creation
Moulded within His mind with negligence
The pain in Adam's eyes
Is swathed with his tender smiles
The only divine prize he obtained
His mother's eyes portrayed melancholy
Each time she saw Brandon
She wished Adam to be the same
The disparity in a pair of twins
Set them adrift to where hopes never lived
Yet Adam stays unknown to all these
To him everything is the way it is
He realizes things little by little
But he is trapped in a body, he can't express
The expression goes unseen
The feeling goes unfelt
His hands and legs are numbed
And living the world in total darkness
Relying on someone for each step to be taken
Yet the gratitude he yearned to tell all
Trapped in a body, he can't express
Yes he is trapped in this body
That doesn't show a single pity
Only his parents know
How much Adam means to them
The depths of his yearning to express
Is clearly drawn in his eyes
But he is trapped in a body, he can't express
The negligence of this creation
Marks the deepest cruelty within Him
But that is again blinded
By the tender smiles of Adam
For who I am, neither Adam nor his family know...but their story inspired me to write these words.
__________-HER-__________
||
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
|| || 12:00 am ||
A Birthday Wish
A single wish
To someone special
She yearned to say
Yet the distance lies
Making a shadow
Of all her dreams
The beatings of her heart
Grew faster
And faster
Counting within her
The seconds of Time
1,2,3,4,5...
She yearned for the moment
The first moment
Of the birthday
A single wish
She wanted to say
Holding on desperately
A smile on her face
The beatings accelerated
The clock went slower
Than usual
A special birthday wish
She wanted to say
She needed to say
It read 11:58pm
"Two more minutes"
"I can wait. I will."
She whispered
Just for it
The birthday wish
She grabbed her phone
Went through the search
And found "Angel"
His name
Waiting desperately
For the clock to strike
12:00am
Then it grew faster
More faster
Her heart
As Time grew nearer
With just a few seconds left
She gasped
Gasped
For breath
With shivering hands
She held her phone tight
Then
The clock struck 12:00am
And her heart stopped
Finally stopped
At the hospital
She died
The birthday wish
She yearned to tell him
She whispered slowly
"Happy Birthday Angel"
As her soul floated
To seek the real Angels
It happens to be the one month anniversary of our blog too!
__________-HER-__________
||
Sunday, December 21, 2003
|| || 9:57 am ||
GRR...
the constant feeling of fear.
confused?
nervous?
afraid?
excited?
all put together?
it's the fear of not knowing.
i hate this!
there's so much i wish i knew but i'll just have to wait.
how long?
i've got no idea.
all my feelings are packed so tightly together.
it's making me explode.
all i need is to seperate all of it and evaluate each one carefully.
that's not easy.
not easy at all.
i need answers.
answers...
maybe i need to explode a little.
will that seperate all the different emotions?
but i just can't.
not here.
not now.
i need my seasons...
i need them desperately...
only they will be able to unwrap me...
giving me space to breathe...
i miss my seasons so so so much...
*on top of all these mixed emotions comes bad hair... grr...*
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
|| || || 2:01 am ||
As The Year Ends
As the year ends
I close my eyes
Reflect upon each moment
That has stole a place
Deep in my heart
The friendship I shared
With three of you
Is what I have yearned for
Too unbelievable
But I saw a lot of things
About your care
And your love
The encouragement for every day
Three of you behind me
In every step I took
Wiping the tears
Making my journey a joy
The greatest gift I got
And yes my 18th birthday
Is the most memorable
I owe it to you three
Then another person
Special
Too special for words
Too special for me
A friend of a few months
Who proved to me
Many aspects of life
When I could turn around
And tell myself
That I am created
For a reason
And life's many obstacles
Strengthens the soul
An unforgettable relationship
With Special
Another soul came over
Mesmerized my world
With the wonders of words
And several thoughts
I knew he had to be
An Angel
He taught me
To open another chapter
On Love
But I couldn't keep him
For an Angel he is
Neither can I forget
That Angel I love
The creation of a family
I realized today
The sweetness beneath it
The truth that shimmers
That which sometimes hurt
But I am riding on
I wonder why
I am hurting others
It feels painful and selfish
I see the love in their eyes
I shiver and in tears
I pray
God
Questioning Him
Finding Him
I feel His presence
The dreams He is creating
And the hopes are increasing
Each day I am nearer
To God
And I am close
Very close
To God
Who made me see my passion
I see the reason
For my existence
I have a passion
I am seeking it each day
In pain and tears
When my pillar of strength
Has murdered my passion
But I still continue
I wouldn't know why
But God will tell me so
And now as the year ends
I am scared
I hate endings
For the first time
I am not looking forward
For the new year
For the new resolutions
For the new dreams
For the new relationships
I prefer the old
The joy
The pain
This year I prefer
Never to end
I snap from my thoughts
And open my eyes
This I see
My three seasons
Special
An Angel
Family
God
My passion
And the year 2003
__________-HER-__________
||
Friday, December 19, 2003
|| || 11:04 am ||
Christmas is approaching...
The year is coming to an end...
Here comes 2004...
It's a wonder how time flies...
Recall the events of the year...
Keep the dreams alive...
Bring them along...
Leave the tears behind...
Make changes where necessary...
Just Smile and wait...
For it will always be a better year ahead...
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
||
Sunday, December 14, 2003
|| || 10:59 pm ||
Tammy's Wish List for Christmas 2003...
Number 1: i wish for my grandma to regain her health and be discharged soon.
Number 2: i wish for my grandpa to be happy and stay healthy.
Number 3: everything else doesn't seem to matter anymore....
(but if you insist... i don't mind an air ticket to Phuket...)
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
||
Thursday, December 11, 2003
|| || 3:31 pm ||
Passion.
Have you ever had a passion deep within yourself? A true passion that you really want to achieve. A passion that you would work so hard for just to pursue it. A passion that may cause you literally to die but yet you continue. Because its your desire...your goal...and its what that will finally make you who you want to be.
Passion.
Sometimes it is so difficult to convey your passion to someone else. They may think that you are nuts to work yourself out just to pursue it. They do not see your passion. They never do. Only you know it. Only you feel the need to pursue it. People around you may not understand why you are doing this. But deep within, you do. Only you do.
Passion.
It isn't like a dream you built. It is about your goal. What you want to achieve. And don't live life without a passion. It is like eating banana split without a banana.*I'm just craving for banana split now* This passion is what that drives you further and further and further. You meet obstacles and you overcome them. Then move on nearer to your passion.
Passion.
For me, I can never convey my passion to someone. They never read my feelings. What I truly feel about what I am doing, they never know. Actually they do not need to know. Sometimes I work too hard, stress myself and eventually "kill" myself. But I know that this is my desire. It isn't what I need. It is what I WANT. And what I want isn't necessarily a need. I like what I want. So don't stop me. Every time someone does that, you cause a crack in my hopes. The only thing you can do is to encourage or guide me. If not, please do not shatter my passion...
Passion.
So what is your passion? Do you have one? Or are you the type of person who just goes with the flow, without a passion? And so, drive aimlessly in the road of life? Or are you the one who knows what your destination would be? And you believe that each day you are working towards your passion?
Passion.
I am working towards mine...and I am sorry if I am disappointing anyone as I am riding towards my passion. I know I am very well disappointing at least 2 people in the world. But, this is what I WANT. It's my PASSION.
__________-HER-__________
|| || || 2:31 pm ||
A Quest that made a difference.
"An unfamiliar place it was,
No faces i could recognise.
Then you appeared,
It seemed like an antique of my mind.
Your piercing eyes shot right through me.
Bulls eye!
Precious jewels were revealed too.
The jewels only your smile holds.
It was unforgettable.
Every minute i ponder,
For the name of this treasure chest.
Then there it was right before me,
On a little tag i strained to look.
Ah-Ha!
Quest was his name!
The sight of that sparkling smile,
And those gorgeous windows to the soul,
I never want to miss.
Attention fell upon you,
And you alone.
A quest it was to capture those fleeting moments,
For i know those treasures will never be mine.
Whatever was caught,
Will be kept deep in my mind,
And forever in my heart."
Then there came a reply. Sweeter still. Totally unexpected. Along with it came a rose. Made of a serviette but beautiful. I clutched both the letter and the flower in my hand. "Let's go!" he said. "To where?" he asked. "The beach." was the reply to his own question. Excited i was. Nervous too. Road we had to cross. He reached out for my hand. For a month he has been there. First time at the beach though. And it was with me. We talked quite a bit. First time out of my 4 day stay. Accents... we both had trouble understanding. Thai, i tried to learn. We enjoyed every single moment we had left together. Then it was time to say goodbye. Finding the right time for the letter. The letter written in english. Yes... but it wasn't anywhere near perfect. Handwriting wasn't any better. Still, it touched me deep down. Interested... he didn't thought i was. Words... he didn't dare speak. A smile made him glad. He wished we could talk. All day. All night. All the time. But i had to leave that day. A faraway place i'd be. Sad you are. Me too. Dreaming of the impossible. Both you and me. You will always be remembered. I hope i will be too.
that look... that YIM (that's smile in thai)... that wink... that name... QUEST!
As these words flow... the tears follow... i'm not sure why... hasn't happened in a long long time... i thought i was fine... until you came along...
Well... Ya... i DO miss you... QUEST!
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
||
Monday, December 08, 2003
|| || 11:34 pm ||
Hope
A belief that something desired will happen...to want something and to consider it possible...Simple definitions of 'hope'.
Several people have said that it is better to have faith than hope. That many should not hope too much because it hurts when the hopes are shattered. That hopes create a false dream within oneself and thus are highly poisonous. So they feel that people should have more faith instead.
And so I do realize now why people call me the Queen of Hopes. Yes... I hope a lot. Hope even when things seem totally impossible. I do not know why but I guess that is what that moulds me to who I am today.
I believe that a hope in you helps you to create a dream of your own. And as your hopes increase, your dreams meet another level. And you get motivated to try to achieve this dream. Hopes guide you throughout your journey. They make you believe that although something is highly unachievable, you will still go on to try. That's because you have a hope. You know that things may turn out the way you have hoped. The way I always believe it to be.
Then sometimes hopes are shattered by reality - when things do not turn out the way you expected it to be. You just tremble and fall at one go. You just fall endlessly. No one is below to pick you up. Even if there are people to guide and console you, you just feel extremely broken. Because you have seen your hopes killed at one shot. That's exactly how a person with high hopes feels when the cruel reality just burns things down.
But then there is a satisfaction within the heart of this person. The satisfaction of seeing the dream being created within the hopes of his heart. Although the dream never became real, he feels glad that his hopes drove him to try harder each time. That the tiny hopes have grown to huge ones and have pushed him to this far. Then the dream was seen in his carved art of imagination with the help of hopes.
But even after the hopes are shattered, some do keep hoping. This people are engulfed in the world of hopes. They find it difficult to accept the reality. These are people who want to continue the dream they had plotted with their hopes. They do not want reality to kill the hopes off. They are creating their own story within the walls of their hopeful hearts. Although they continue with their hopes, they still face reality. But deep within, they are hopelessly hoping... for something that already has shattered. They know not of the reason for continuing... but maybe it could just be their hopes.
And thus I hoped, I am hoping and I will hope for the dreams I have created. My hopes engulf my heart, which holds the dream of my life. But for the shattered hopes, I have wrapped them with love and kept them hidden deep within my heart. Although I will let them go, those special hopes shall never perish from memory!
__________-HER-__________
||
Sunday, December 07, 2003
|| || 12:52 am ||
SCORPIO WOMAN
A simple woman who always show what kind of a moods she is in. You can tell right way if she up set, or if she is flirting with you. She displays herself with her act much more than trying to say it for it's in her character. (yes..dun hide things..very direct)
A Scorpio woman has her own mysterious personality. (thats true..can nvr figure me out..) She is confident and deep down inside she is quite proud of herself. She hates to think she is borne a woman and so limiting her with a certain social acceptable rules. She is a real woman and despite her innocent and childish looks, she has aspirit of free soul. Many men will make mistake if they think she is a good follower, they are wrong. ( thats true..confidence.. but i am proud to be a woman)
She thinks being a plain simple housewife is boring. She likes to have power and control over other people, but this will be only her secret, so you will only see a cute woman. Every things she does will look good, and she has all the woman's trick you can think of. She can manipulate men without they knowing it.(haha..*wink wink*)
If you think she going to do everything you say because she loves you, then you will be disappointed. She could be a little tomboyish and she can understand you by just looking in your eyes. You may say sweet words which could sweep any woman, but not with the Scorpio woman. She will use her X-ray eyes reading your thought of what you just said or what you are going to say. She always smile and she can really hide her feeling. (ah-ha..the most correct in this thing! I can speak thr the eyes and also read the eyes..so dun try those games wif me..)
She will constantly show you that she loves freedom. If she has freedom, she will not leave you, but will even love you more. (dun like to be restrained..true) If she wants something, she will do everything to get it. She has her own sixth sense of people and you can feel that energy feed back when you around her. (woo.. sounds good isnt it) She likes a man who can earn her respect, and she will also respect and feel proud of that man. A man with power over her should not threat or challenge her confident. She likes to have a good looking, strong and healthy man especially if she start to compare with her friends' boyfriends. It is a plus if he hold a degree or a good career. (respect yes..hmm)
She is a hot lady.(hmmm..) She likes heavy music.(not really..) She either loves or hates, there are no "fond of", or "like" for her. Love has no "may be", or "perhaps(thats true.. ) If she is real mad, she will trash and throw things. Her wind storm can sweep all her dishes and you could get accidentally hit on your head for this matter. Be calm, it is just your grand mother favorite china for she has good quality as much as her bad tempered.(not sure abt this..but i can kill u with words lar when i am angry)
Sometimes she shows her weakness, but it won't be long. She will put herself together and back to be that hot chili again.(thats not true..I take lots of time for that) If she loves you, it will be no matter what other people may say. Her relationship will be more important than what is right or wrong. Because of this reason, you may know some Scorpio woman become a second wife, a mistress.(oh well..sadly its true..*sigh*)
She is spoil, but she allows her love one to over power her. Dating this woman, you should not keep old love letters in your pocket or in your house.It could be a love letter 2 years ago, but never mind she will argue about this since this is a big deal for a suspicious woman. Remember she has a temper of the shrew. (oh my! that's too much lar..not fair when i keep them right..)
If you play a cold war with her, she will treat you likewise and double it. If you stood her up once, she will stood you up 2-3 times. She is quite fair in justice, so she can accept your apologies as much as she can pretend to accept things for now and wait for a pay back revenge in the future. If you are nice to hear, she will double that to you as well. A real fair woman. (hmm..)
She likes to make and spent money. She likes to have fame and reputations, and never let herself broke and have no name at the same time. She is too proud and will not accept status of being "Poor". She loves to have face, so if you are a manager with small salary, she will be proud more than more money being a truck driver. She hates to think and she can not stand a feeling of being a "Nobody".(wooo.. really? dun know this)
If you like her, play a little hard to get. This will excite her a bit. When you go out on a date, set your schedule, but do not let she knows that you have planned this for weeks. Always go to pick her up on time or better to go 5-10 minutes early. (excite me..yeah..setting schedule..no more of being spontaneous.. picking me up.. sorry I can come there myself..independence!)
Wow..this is really an interesting one! Very true indeed.
__________-HER-__________
|| || || 12:08 am ||
CANCER WOMAN
When she is in love, she will act both ways. First, Shy and polite trembling
to be near you. Second, Attach to you like glue and trying to be with you
all the times. She will try to go home with you after work, or have every
lunch with you. It is O.K. if you like her too, but if it is not the case,
you will feel very uncomfortable. (i can be quite gluey... but not THAT gluey...)
She hates to be talked about or gossiped by someone else. If she knows she
will be very hurt. (dun hurt me...*innocent look*)
In nature she is a shy type, except she has been
influenced by some other Zodiac. (oh yes! definitely been influenced)
She is not a brave or daring type, so if
you like her then you better be the one who start first. (hmmz... hint hint guys...)
She will not accept
her true feeling (more like sharita...)
, so if you like her you better tell her first.
She is like a musical note always change in tunes, so one minute she can be
funny and cheerful, and one minute she can be sad and depress. (true...true...)
Other people
may think of her as "Over-acting", or "Over-reacting".
When she is depress, she will go out and look for things to make it up. She
loves money, and thinks of having "Money" as "happy", not as "God". She will
not look down at you if you do not have a lot of money, but she will help
you make money, save money. She is not an extravagant person and sometimes
will tell you not to buy her expensive and not useful gift. (hmmz...)
She is the type who enjoy a long and quiet walk. Cancer woman also
influenced by the "moon", so under the moon light she will be fascinating
woman.
She has a constant fear for many things. She fear of not being smart enough,
not pretty enough. Even if she is not fat, she will not be satisfy. Assuring
her of her look would help, because she can change mood 4 times a day. (woo...i can change it more than four times...haha)
She is not stingy, but you will not surprise if you see she collecting old
or broken junks. She sees that everything are useful to her. She will find a
way to re-use it again some day. She is not a jealous type,but possessive. (no comments...)
The best part of her is that she will sacrifice everything for her love one
with no limit. Don't leave her in times of troubles, she will never forget
it. (oh ya! i forgive but i never forget...)
She is not a weak type, even she looks like one, Example if you argue
with her, she might cry her heart out. Once you left, she will wipe her
tears and start clean up her apartment normally.
She is a very careful mother and will look after her kids every steps of the
way. If she is a mother of your children, you are at ease, but if she is
your mother in law, you are in pain. (hahaha...*evil laugh*)
Not to worry, this type of mother in
law will not let her own daughter being an "Old mate".
She could be moody and argue with you in many little things like many women,
but she always wait and want to take care of you. If you argue with her and
disappear a few days, she will be waiting for you, but not for long O.K.
This kind of testing is risky, try not to do it. (ya...risky...dun do it!)
The Cancer woman need 2 things to be happy which are "Work" and "Love". She
can be live in a dusty house, but she can not live in that same house with
no Love. (nope! not me... i can never live in a dusty house... i'll be sick everyday...)
Just to let you have a peek on what i'm really like... hahaha... i guess most of it are true but some are a little too exaggerated... and some small parts are total nonsense.
be back on wednesday... tataz!
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
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Friday, December 05, 2003
|| || 9:56 pm ||
Love at First Sight...
Often heard but seldom felt. Does love-at-first-sight really exist? is it really possible? Do YOU believe in it? Many people wouldn't believe in it unless they have experienced it for themselves.
Well well, my lucky day has come. Now i officially pronounced myself a believer of love at first sight....
One glance and my heart was captured. Took a second look and my heart just melted like ice on fire. Charming! Explored every single detail. Just perfect. Ok... maybe not perfect... but really really close. At least the most perfect of all i've seen. I've never been attracted like this before. How can this be happening to me? The feeling is so special.... so different. I've been in love before... yes... but nothing compared to this.
" i want to hold you close to me... to take good care of you. i know you'll alwaes be there for me when i need you... only if you're mine. so... please be mine..."
Dear Santa,
Please send my love to me this Christmas. I want nothing else. None other would be able to take the place of my dear one.
The object of...
my interest
my love
my passion
my affection
my desire
SAMSUNG P400!!!!!
heez... anybody wanna volunteer to be my Santa this Christmas?
dear seasons... if you guys thought i finally found someone... so sorry to disappoint you guys... hahaha... Care to be my Santa?
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
||
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
|| || 9:34 pm ||
The Winter's Blue Moon
The colour of winter
has lost its shadow
to the special blue moon
of the night sky -
for why only she knows.
This moon is whom she looked up to very often. The presence of it gave her confusion at first. Her doubts cleared and happiness sipped. Without her awareness, each night her yearning for the moon increased steadily. The moon was her faraway dream companion. Her only wish was to hold the moon in her hands, speak to it and give a single hug. Every time the moon was clouded by the night sky, her tears traced her inner feelings. Her tears that were silent, frozen and hidden.
But the greatness of the blue moon now has been known. The shadow of winter was crafted by the moon and carefully returned to where it belongs. The colour isn't the same anymore but it is definitely brighter than the stars of the sky.
She had the opportunity to muster her courage and speak to the moon about what she truly felt. However, she did not know if the moon would be able to hear her words. Or rather she was afraid about what the moon would reply. She was afraid but yet her sparkling eyes blinded her fear. Her negative thoughts ruled her mind constantly. That her eyes failed to cover.
But yes, the moon did hear her words. It heard the feelings that she had and how much she treasured the moon. The moon sunk into hours of surprise, thinking about who she really was. Why would someone bother about the moon? No one ever cared or rather no one ever spoke their feelings to the moon? So why? Why she? The moon wondered. And suddenly it yearned to see her face and speak to her. The moon's wish identical to that of hers.
They met. They talked. They laughed. They shared. They joked. They listened. They stared. They revealed. The two hours that she yearned. The two hours that the moon enjoyed.
The moon never expected her to be the way she is. It built its own perceptions of her and they were utterly wrong. She lived in the crowded world of its moonlight. The moon suddenly saw the real beauty behind her. But beneath it was a thought about who the moon really was. The moon. No one can get close to the moon, not even love. So how can it open its heart for her? The moon wished it could but she is too far away to be with. She knew that her dream with the moon will always be kept as a dream.
Then the time was up. The moon had to leave. They had to part. She looked into its eyes and for once, her heart felt the warmth of the moonlight. The warmth that will stay in her heart forever. She asked the moon something in the end before it left - a hug. They hugged. And the gentle touch of the moon filled her soul. Her empty soul instantly filled with the love. She hid a tear and silently smiled it off as she wished that Time would freeze the moment.
It was not a sad day after all for her although her dream with the moon did not come true. But her single wish did and to her that was enough. She will continue to live with the dream of the moon. For the moon, it will know that someone out there had given a beautiful gift - a place in her heart. For her, she lives in the satisfaction of seeing the moon of the night sky from her window.
As she freezes her tear once again, the memories of the day spent with the moon flashes into her mind. The blue moon will always belong to the heart of Winter. Indeed its The Winter's Blue Moon. Another memory of winter. And yes the moon's too.
__________-HER-__________
|| || || 1:37 am ||
There's a girl weeping in a corner of her room. A forlorn young miss searching for what's unknown to her. All sorts of feelings mixed together making her confused. The tears rolled down from the corner of her eyes, accompanied with a slight grin. Those were tears of joy you would conclude, but the grin merely lasted a moment or two. Gloom took over and a pout emerged. What emotions are surging through her this time?
I observed her expressions in a detailed and complete manner. What was going on? What's happening to this girl? What is it that she really needs? I felt so helpless...
If only she will leave that gloomy corner of her room and lift her head up high, she will hold in view the treasures she possesses. All it takes is a SMILE to chase the blues away and allow all the other beautiful things to follow its way. All will be radiant and cheery one day. Someday...
I wish i could put my arms around her and comfort her with all my might. I wish i could wipe those tears off her cheeks. I wish i could give her a warm tight hug and blow her worries away. I wish i had the strong arms she could lean on for support. I wish i could talk some sense into her. All these i wish i had the power to do... but she's simply a reflection in my mirror...
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
||
Monday, December 01, 2003
|| || 10:28 am ||
You're Most Like The Season Spring ...
Fresh faced, with a young outlook on life - you
smile at the world and expect it to smile back
at you. You're mostly a bubbly, fun - innocent
person. Described as cute possibly. However,
you're a little naive about things and tend to
be a little too trustworthy.
As the first season, It Makes you the youngest -
and so most immature - but people are inclined
to look out for and protect you.
Well done... You're the most fun of the seasons :)
?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Most Like The Season Summer ...
Whoa.... Passionate eh ?? Typically you're a fiery,
zesty dominant person. As the hottest season,
you certainly ooze Sex appeal. You have
confidence which draws people to you, and you
have the makings of a good leader.
However sometimes your exterior is stronger then
you are and so you scare people off before they
can get close.
Well done... You're the most memorable of seasons
:)
?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Most Like The Season Autumn ...
You're warm, and the most approachable. You have
that gentle prescence about you. People can
relate to you, and find you easy company.
However it's likely you've been hurt in the
past and it has left you scarred so things can
become rather chilly with you at times. Being
the third Season in, you're mature, trustworthy
and loyal to your friends but prone to
depression and negative thinking.
Well done... You're the shy and sensitive season :)
?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Most Like The Season Winter ...
You're often depicted as the cold, distant season.
But you're incredibly intelligent, mature and
Independant. You have an air of power around
you - and that can sometimes scare people off.
You're complex, and get hurt easily - so you
rarely let people in if you can help it. You
can be somewhat of a loner, but just as easily
you could be the leader of many. You Tend to be
negative, and hard to relate to, but you give
off a relaxed image despite being insecure -
and secretly many people long to be like you,
not knowing how deep the Winter season really
is.
Well done... You're the most inspirational of
seasons :)
?? Which Season Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
|
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"Some
people plant in the spring,
And
leave in the summer.
If
you're signed up for a season, see it through.
You
don't have to stay forever,
but at
least stay until you see it through."
~
Jim Rohn
From Priya's entry dated 6 November 2005- suits us
perfectly.
!SPRING!
!AUTUMN!
!WINTER!
Azizah
Edleweiss
Haider
Hana
Hazelyn
Izad
Jessica
Kabetha
Latha
Lavan
Naresh
Sashi
Shelby
Soffie
Tania
Teddy
Vithya
Yi Qian
Blogger
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Forgettheflowers
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