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Tuesday, December 30, 2003
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As The Year Ends (Part Two)
If I have just one wish now, I would wish to stop this year from ending and the next year from starting.
Then,
I would rewind the time all the way back to January 2003.
Why?
Not because I wanna edit my mistakes and make the whole path perfect...NO! I just wanna experience the whole joy again. The wonders of how everything started. I would make the same mistakes again...so that I would learn...In this way, I would know the importance of each moment shared. This time I would cherish every moment. Every moment shared with family, friends and ...
Perhaps this time round, certain relationships would be saved... some would have started earlier... some would have nurtured further...and a few that shouldn't have began would't have began...and then those that were feared to start would have started...
But you know Mr Time? The cruelty he holds in his power...he never turns back...fast forwards...or even stop! He is too selfish to allow people to enjoy the special moments...if only he knows how to pause time when...
Mr Time now shall be called the Mr Cruel-Powered Time!
2003 It taught me a lot. Too much that now I fear the upcoming year. That every step I take may be a mistake. It is just so scary. Or maybe it's the ending that brings me a fear. Ending, termination, full stop. But I know you would say that that is when a new beginning comes in place... but for me... I ain't looking for that new beginning.
I prefer the old... I would rather allow the old to nurture... The new beginning if there ever is would be the cultivation of the old. That isn't exactly new...
I just want the old... but will it be the same as before? Would there be hurdles awaiting me if I choose this? And most importantly do I have the inner strength for the race? And yes...Do I have hopes? Now Queen of Hopes is doubting herself...
The crazy suppression of my hurdles in the past... I had enough... Enough! If there is more to come, I would no longer know my path... The only path visible is the one that has the door so tightly shut...It hurts to open it but once I enter, it becomes easy. All I have to do is to take a plunge...and it's over...
It's the first time ever in my 18 years... I ain't looking forward for the coming year. Maybe 2003 was just too much for me...Too special for me. Nope not maybe, it is!! For now I fear the ending of it. I am living through the final days of 2003 in great thoughts, fear, happiness, surprise and pain.
2004 What would you bring? I ain't looking forward for you. I do not know why. 2003 captured my heart too much. Maybe 2004 would be a major turning point in my life... maybe everything would dramatically change... maybe the night sky will never have stars again... maybe the leaves will die even before the arrival of autumn...
Maybe
Maybe
For the gone yesterdays
For the unexpected tomorrows
I cry today
__________-HER-__________
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"Some
people plant in the spring,
And
leave in the summer.
If
you're signed up for a season, see it through.
You
don't have to stay forever,
but at
least stay until you see it through."
~
Jim Rohn
From Priya's entry dated 6 November 2005- suits us
perfectly.
!SPRING!
!AUTUMN!
!WINTER!
Azizah
Edleweiss
Haider
Hana
Hazelyn
Izad
Jessica
Kabetha
Latha
Lavan
Naresh
Sashi
Shelby
Soffie
Tania
Teddy
Vithya
Yi Qian
Blogger
Blogskins
Image
Forgettheflowers
mr.photoshop
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Our Memories
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[c]
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