||
Saturday, January 31, 2004
|| || 1:29 am ||
TAM's JANUARY 2004
2004... The year has just begun... only a month has past... and i can't wait for the year to be over!
It's a wonder how so many things can happen within such a short period of time. Joy, Tears, Fear, Shocks, Surprises, Excitement, Worries, Confusion, Crappiness, Frustrations... it's all happening to me.
The year started from way down there. Actually, even lower than down, wherever that is.
I read somewhere that when you're really sad and it hurts real deep, the tears just won't flow. Instead, the opposite will happen... you'll laugh... really laugh... laugh it all out. This happens because our brains is unable to process things right... the emotions are too strong to control. It'll take some time for the wires to be connected properly. Only then would the tears come. Then the facts will finally hit you... BAM! I guess that explains what have been happening to me lately. I could never explain the laughters. I knew they weren't for real, but i couldn't hold them back. They just burst out of me. It's something i had no control over. The tears were somewhere in there with all the broken pieces that are left behind. 26 days have passed... and the fort has finally crumbled. Tears gushed out like an opened floodgate.
A loved one i truly admire. The unconditional love that she showered on me... i can still feel. Her tender touch never fails to send a special kind of warmth through me. She endured all my mischiefs and love me still. Those smiles she always flash no matter what. Though hard of hearing, she always heard my cries and responded to them in an instant. Not well-educated but she has taught me a great deal. Words that came from her were so pure and true. The tastes of the food she made still lingers on. Many flowers can make a beautiful garland, and many good deeds can be done by one born human.
My grandmother was born into this world to make a difference and she had to go now that her chores are through. I will always remember you Mama. Saya selalu ingat Mama.
Then there's someone else who owns my heart. I wish i could spend more time with him. He will feel much better with my presence... that i know for sure. This is when he truly need me. But what can i do? I'm torn apart. Torn between two. Loved ones at home won't let me go. Another whom i love deeply needs me too. I can't bear to leave either but i'm just a single person... not two. A decision i need to make... a tough one too. Then there comes another problem... school. It makes things even more complicated than it already is. The thought of quitting school ever crossed my mind. I mean... what's school when you've got family to worry about? Duh... like of course my loved ones will get the priority. They are ranked right on top... way up there... way way up there!
Oh yes... school... haiz... don't even want to talk bout it. I shall skip this topic.
Friends. There's a lot of changes in this area. A lot have been happening i would say.
Uh-hum... i shall start with YOU! hmm... it's the last day of January and yes tomorrow will be the 1st of February. Keeping your promise? Surprises you've presented to us... and we're accepting it just fine. Don't worry too much. Things are fine... and yes... she's accepting it too. Everything's okay... just spend a little more time with us. Miss you so much! *if you still dunno who you are... then you're a major toot*
Darlings... i really miss our jups "excursions" as just the four of us. Hope we'll have one real soon.
A dear friend from far away. It was just a piece of paper with words in a little silver box but that made my day.
OK... that's my January 2004....
just wanna take this opprtunity to tell all you people that i love you lotz!
take care!
*huggiez*
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
||
Sunday, January 25, 2004
|| || 8:57 pm ||
The Difference It Has Created
Weee Weee... Wow finally 25 days has passed for this year. Can you believe it? Its extremely nuts! Haha. Well and yes our baby Murder Game will be officially born tomorrow! Yay! It has finally arrived. I can still remember when Vithya approached the four seasons in Design Canteen and asked us to join Murder Game. We had no idea what she was explaining but yea we decided to join. And that choice made that day has brought me this far. Wow! We have been working on this whole thing since like last May. Thats 8 months of hard work! Gosh...
Through this event, I was given several opportunities to explore above my capabilities. I had to make important decisions that i never imagined myself making. There were problems that had to be solved in a certain way that would be perfect for everyone. The experience I have gained through this is far more than amazing.
And yes I lost my mind occasionally especially when things do not turn out to be the way I expected. Many times I fell down hard on the ground. And I lost myself at several times. A lot of things drove me down and made me worried often. But somehow I never wanted to give up. I always put through all those times. But I did not do that all by myself. I had people around me to guide me and help me out. Thanks to all of you who have helped in one way or another. Special thanks to Mr Ferlin, Hazelyn, Jasmine, Tammy and Sharita plus all the actors who had to put up with my cuckoo-ness during our rehearsals..hehe
There were times when I became mean too. I know I have offended some people in this journey. I wish to apologize to these people whom I have disappointed in one way or another. I am really sorry. Sometimes when I lose my mind, things such as those happen. I apologize for that.
Well when the whole thing goes up tomorrow, remember that it is the first ever Murder Game in TP. So yeah everyone of us have played a part in it. Sometimes its small things such as this that creates a difference in your life. Its experience like this that gives you smiles when you turn back and reflect on it.
And for me... yes Murder Game did really make a difference to me.
For now I know how important one decision is.
The power a single word has.
The feeling of making just one soul smile.
Lending a ear when someone needs you around.
Admiring the night sky after a hard day work.
The strength of not giving up.
The importance of team work.
The power of a single passion in your heart.
Guiding one another in the right path.
Bringing joy to each other.
Helping out one another when things fall out.
How great one person can turn your life around.
And the list goes on. For this journey I shared with all the Murder Game people is one that I will never in my life forget. Good Luck to everyone tmr. Let us work this all out together and hope for success.
__________-HER-__________
||
Sunday, January 18, 2004
|| || 6:59 pm ||
Just Do It Still
Sometimes you know that you are technically doing the wrong thing...
Sometimes you know that you are putting yourself in a mess...
Sometimes you know that you are not going to succeed...
Sometimes you know that you are making a big mistake...
Sometimes you know that you are ruining something...
Sometimes you know that you are hurting someone...
Sometimes you know that you are not taking the right path...
Sometimes you know that you are going to crumble...
Sometimes
Somehow
You do know
Of everything that would be caused
Of the consequences you are leading to
But you still want to do it
You know you want to do it
So you take a breath
Putting your foot into the risky area
You say that you want to try
You say that you want to do it
No matter what it turns out to be
No matter what others think of you
No matter what
And so you do it
Whatever that was suppose to bring you tears
And pain
And hatred
And regret
And doubt
And fear
That's what I did
I reached out for the hand
The only hand that speaks
About happiness
About courage
About strength
About encouragement
About love
But no it didn't bring me
Tears
Pain
Hatred
Regret
Doubt
Or fear
And it never will
Instead it brought me
Everything that I lacked
And today
I am filled
With lots of love and joy
Thank you - I whisper
So when you know that you are
technically doing the wrong thing...
putting yourself in a mess...
not going to succeed...
making a big mistake...
ruining something...
hurting someone...
not taking the right path...
going to crumble...
Just do it still
What awaits no one knows...
Your perception may be wrong...
The gift is buried deep within...
Always
For you
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Perfect Rhyme
Maybe I am insane
Neither can I explain
The joy my heart contain
I have regained it again
The work of my brain
Sometimes makes me refrain
Everything that I wish to maintain
Only time cannot sustain
Memories will always be retained
Treasuring it every grain
Praying all would remain
Riding through what it contain
I feel no more pain
Even within it, I gain
An amazing journey I attain
Discovering the forbidden lane
But the greatness of the rain
Shall be my only saint
For you...these words!
__________-HER-__________
||
Tuesday, January 13, 2004
|| || 12:55 am ||
Crumbled
The crumbled me deep within,
The way I have always been!
Trapped into my world-
My emotions finally curl
Rotting in every tiny detail!
Wrapped to suffocate and fail
The shadow glorified with darkness-
Eluding from the real happiness
I am lost and nowhere found,
Falling on the merciless ground!
Endlessly I see no strength,
And yes I am going great lengths-
Destroying the person I am
Cursing with the rhymes of Eminem!
The art of my words cracked-
But those picture the genuine fact
What I am before you today,
I chose this my own way!
And I am paying for the pain-
Driving myself into the hole again!
The crumbled me deep within,
The way I have always been!
__________-HER-__________
||
Thursday, January 01, 2004
|| || 12:48 am ||
Giving Thanks
I have decided to start this year by giving thanks to people around me...In that way it would make me feel that I am starting this year on the right note...so here it goes...
1.Spring/Phobe/Sugar/Ta-ta
The joy of Spring! You have spread your happiness even to Autumn several times! I want to thank you for that. Your unique courage gave me sudden impulses...haha. You filled the energy around the Seasons no matter how bad we felt. Then of course you were there when I crapped terribly and cried terribly too. You even cried along with me! Thanks for that. Because they say that only a friend so close and experiences your feelings would cry with you. And I have found that miracle in you. Tam, you have taught me the different lengths people would go to achieve what they want. I give thanks to you for being one of my closest friend for all this time and for making me believe that joys do stay.
2.Summer/Piper/Pepper/Twinny
The independence of Summer! You have taught me how to be upright and independent. That one shouldn't always rely on someone. Your ability to be outspoken has made me more frank and sharp to people...haha. And of course your thinking skills!! They have enlarged my perspective of thinking. Thanks for that! You were always there to guide me, to tell me what are the effects of choosing something and also to remove my negative thoughts. You taught me that every dark path would have a light shining through. Jaz, you have also eliminated a few thoughts of regret within me. And also worked with me to ride through life on my own. In short, you are always there for me. Thank you. I give thanks to you for being one of my closest friend for all this time and for making me believe that tomorrows will always be better than the yesterdays.
3.Winter/Paige/Salt/Ta-ta
The strength of Winter! You have given me lots of strength in my life. That no matter what happens I should be strong. Your wide vocabulary has helped me in my poetry works...haha. Thanks for that! You have reached the peak of frozen tears and currently you are teaching me gradually how to reach it. Thanks for that! (But I know, I damn slow learner *winkz*) Your words of encouragement were amazing. Little words you said really mattered to me! Thanks for that! I had learnt the importance of family through you. Shar, you have enlightened my days in several ways that you wouldn’t even be aware of and thanks for that. You are a person that I can always turn to. I give thanks to you for being one of my closest friend for all this time and for making me believe that every little thing happens for a reason.
4.Special
The glory of Special! You have made me realize why God took time to create me. You have taught me that everything breaks apart so that they would have the chance to fall perfectly again. You gave me the strength to live life despite the darkest times. And yes I found out that there are 2 people in the world so terribly alike that they can freak each other out...haha. The power your words hold is beyond what my words can describe. Thanks for that! You have showed me the depths of trust and hope. Special, you have taught me about the tiny wonders that one could experience in life. You encouraged me so much. Thanks for that! I hope that in this coming year our friendship would further nurture. I give thanks to you for being one of my closest friend within a short period of time and for making me believe that miracles do happen.
5. Angel
The love of Angel! You gave me the courage to love again. For the second time. That even when love hurts the most, I should hold on. Oh yes you thought me how to whisper...haha! You created so many miracles in my life. You taught me to see things in a totally different view. You guided me with the your words. You painted an art of love in my heart. Thanks for that! You moulded a passion in my soul and multiplied the love I had for words. And above all this, you made me realize that Angels do exist. And that you were one of them. Thanks for that. Angel, you have created an amazing chapter in my life. I give thanks to you for capturing my lost heart and for making me believe that love has no boundaries. But Angel I need to learn something new. I need to learn to let you go. To let you go to where you belong. Where you always belonged. For they told me an Angel doesn't stay long.
6.Family
The guidance of my family! They have made me realize what I want in life and how I am going to seek it. They have taught me to be independent and hardworking. They have taught me the depths of pain. I got to realize that so as to appreciate happiness. Thanks for that. I learnt that no matter what happens there would always be someone to turn to in the end. That I am never alone. They have guided me and helped me make several decisions in life. They have created an impact and have caused several dramatic changes in my life. Thanks for that! I give thanks to my Mother for being there for me always and for making me believe that treasures will only be found if I put effort and seek it. I give thanks to my Father for teaching me the importance of working hard for the future and for making me believe that each day is a gift. I give thanks to my Sister for helping me out in several ways and for making me believe that every moment shared is precious.
7.God
The miracles of God! He has given me a lot of experiences this year, ranging in extremes. But each event has taught me something in life, something I needed to know. He has tested my level of tolerance with life's obstacles. And through that I have learnt to deal my problems. He has made me meet several people in my life to spread His word. He has even sent Angel to me. And he constructed the path for me to meet Special. He made me realize the true passion of my heart. Then of course the miracles of my life! Thanks for that! After all these years, I realized the love of God. God, thanks for all your guidance in my life so far and I pray for you to lead me in the year as more of life's mysteries unfolds itself. I give thanks to God for all that has happened- the joy, the pain, the smiles and the tears and for making me realize the wonders that a life such as this could have!
As I wrote this, I reflected on the moments I shared with individual. I smiled. I cried. As this New Year unfolds slowly, I hope my path would be further enhanced and that I would learn greater things from all of you. Thanks for all that you have done for me. Whether it was a word or whether it was a hug, everything meant a lot to me. And a million thanks to all of you!
Love,
Priya
__________-HER-__________
|
|
"Some
people plant in the spring,
And
leave in the summer.
If
you're signed up for a season, see it through.
You
don't have to stay forever,
but at
least stay until you see it through."
~
Jim Rohn
From Priya's entry dated 6 November 2005- suits us
perfectly.
!SPRING!
!AUTUMN!
!WINTER!
Azizah
Edleweiss
Haider
Hana
Hazelyn
Izad
Jessica
Kabetha
Latha
Lavan
Naresh
Sashi
Shelby
Soffie
Tania
Teddy
Vithya
Yi Qian
Blogger
Blogskins
Image
Forgettheflowers
mr.photoshop
||11/01/2003 - 12/01/2003||
||12/01/2003 - 01/01/2004||
||01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004||
||02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004||
||03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004||
||05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004||
||06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004||
||07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004||
||08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004||
||09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004||
||10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004||
||11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004||
||12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005||
||01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005||
||02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005||
||03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005||
||04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005||
||05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005||
||06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005||
||07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005||
||08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005||
||09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005||
||10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005||
||11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005||
||12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006||
||01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006||
||02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006||
||04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006||
||05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006||
||06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006||
||07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006||
||08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006||
Our Memories
Your 3 Angels
Words For Love
Quotes
TalkingCock
[c]
forgettheflowers
| |