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Sunday, February 29, 2004
|| || 8:50 pm ||
My Fairytale February...
Two tales so different...
One starts not knowing if it'll have a "...happily ever after."
Another starts with a "They lived happily ever after."
In this fairytale of mine... there's no Prince Charming on a white horse. No fair Princess with long golden hair. No step-parents or step-siblings. No witches or wizards. No spells and potions. No animals in the forest. No dwarfs.
Just a simple girl and her simple boy...
Once upon a time, there was a girl by the name of Qan. She lived in a place filled with towering brick walls and zooming cars. It was a complexed rapid world out there. Nobody knows exactly what's going on. Everybody just follows rules that are layed out for them and paths that are paved. Then one fine day, she took time out of this complicating place. That's when she met a boy. Simplicity was the key word in the whole affair. Finally, she could breathe. Everything just flows in the simplest form...
Nobody knows if there will ever be a"... happily ever after." but there was definitely a "Once upon a time...". My fairytale has begun...
As this fairtale begins... another ends.
They lived happily ever after. Then she had to leave to a place far away, a place where nobody still living has been to. He wants to go along with her but his wish will not be granted just yet. Thoughts of joining her still clouds his mind. Tears would fall everyday, dampening the pages of the many photo albums, albums that are filled with the smiles of his beloved. Memories are all that he's left with. His heart aches... his eyes flood... his thoughts kills... at the same time torturing ME!
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
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Friday, February 27, 2004
|| || 12:00 am ||
I Scream
I scream her name aloud
I scream
I scream
Yes I love her
I do damn love her
Look into my eyes
And you would know her
Can't you see?
Can't you feel?
Then I remembered
The souls of the world
Are perpetually running
With the stereotypes
But I want to fly
Fly with the joy she is giving
So we dismiss this thoughts
We in fact dismiss the world
But God is there
The only person we can't let go
He whispered that it is wrong
But this is so perfect
I scream her name aloud
I scream
I scream
Yes I love her
I do damn love her
Look into my eyes
And you would know her
That promise we made
The other day
No I will not tell anyone
I fear that they would invade
Into our minds and change
All the roses we planted
Into thorns and bring us apart
I wish I could pray
I wished only that
Ask God to make everything fine
That hurdles will never be
But how can I do that?
He whispered that it is wrong
But this is so perfect
I scream her name aloud
I scream
I scream
Yes I love her
I do damn love her
Look into my eyes
And you would know her
If only I could bring her
To the sky
Where only angels surround
And stars twinkle at night
Let her see happiness
And feel it from deep within
Then I would use my blood
To carve her name
Onto my skin
Then would the world understand?
Finally allow us to come in?
Will God accept us now though
He whispered that it is wrong
Will He see the perfection?
I scream her name aloud
I scream
I scream
Yes I love her
I do damn love her
Yes I scream
I scream loudly
Can you hear me?
Isn't there?
Isn't there a chance?
I'm just a girl
In love
With another girl
Only in love
But silently I will pray
With hopes
And they say
God answers prayers
__________-HER-__________
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Monday, February 23, 2004
|| || 2:05 am ||
We'll Run Away
We'll run away
Hide away in the darkest night
Because the dawn has faces
Too much for us to handle
We'll run away
We'll run away
I see the love in her eyes
Only in hers right now
The rest has gone blind
Lost or perhaps blown away
Yet the fires of the day
Kill our souls
Our hands never letting go
We wait eagerly
For the time to tell us
When everything would be alright
That will come
In years, pretty soon
Till then we shall we will
We'll run away
Hide away in the darkest night
Because the dawn has faces
Too much for us to handle
We'll run away
We'll run away
We have not lost our minds
We are only in love
No one told us that was wrong
Now we hear voices all around
Shouting and screaming
Trying to bring us apart
But no we will not, no no
For everything is beyond control
Holding hands tightly
We look ahead, we see the future
But now, all we want to do
We'll run away
Hide away in the darkest night
Because the dawn has faces
Too much for us to handle
We'll run away
We'll run away
Running away
Away from the stares
Away from the words
Away from the cruelty
Away from the pain
Running towards
Towards our joy
Towards our reality
Towards our truth
Towards our love
Because for now
We love...
__________-HER-__________
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Tuesday, February 10, 2004
|| || 11:50 pm ||
I Want!
A lot of thinking within your mind. I wouldn't know what you hid beneath you unless you voice it out to me. And please understand that I am here willing to listen to every single word you say. I can see confusion swirling in all directions in your eyes. The dark tears that you often conceal so as to see my smiles. Why? I don't want to smile if you are drowning in your tears. But instead I want to know the reasons behind every tear and I wish to wipe them all away. And with that I would learn to smile wholeheartedly. Perhaps we are just setting our minds to fly off and then allow negative thoughts to follow us in every step. These thoughts that almost kill us and that is because we choose to listen to each thought. Therefore, I want to know what is clearly going on in the walls of your mind. I want to erase all your negativity. I want to show you the world in a whole new perspective, in an angle you may have never seen the world. Where you would turn around and see the tiny happiness shadowed in the sorrows. Your dreams that you wish to pursue, I want to guide you along. If no one is there for you at your destination of dreams, I want to be there for you. If everyone thinks that you are taking too much time to do something small, I want to wait at the end for you with a rose. And when no one believes it you or sometimes when you lose hopes for yourself, remember I will be here still believing in you and hoping for the best. And when you think that you have lost yourself, I want to be here to help you gain back the real being in you.
I want!
I want!
I want!
I want to create so many different things in your life. I have chosen to do that.
But then again do I have the power?
Would you allow me to do so? Or would you hide away everything you feel and leave me to fill the empty spaces on my own?
Tell me
Cuz I want to help...
I really want to...
Because I care about you...
I always do...
Don't bottle it all up...
Let me in...
I tried I tell you. I tried to stop. But I'm weak.
You tried...You tried...I know you tried...At least you tried...So what if you did not succeed? No one succeeds in his or her first try, dear. No one in the world.
I stopped for 2 days and was back on it like a junkie.
Even if it is not a success to you, it is a success in my eyes. I know the pain you have been facing trying to stop smoking. I know cuz I have been through that shit before...tryng to quit from some addiction.
Why did I even endeavor to stop in the 1st place right?
Well ask yourself that. Your answer is found in your question. Because you decided to endeavor. You chose to. Because at the back of your mind deep within your heart somewhere you knew you could do it.
Feel like a major loser.
And because you picked it up again...you call yourself a loser? Why? Those who win have lost before. Those who lose will win one day. Believe in what you want. The changes you want to create. Your goal!
I can't even stop for a person I love. How much more hopeless can I get?
You do not ever need to stop it for anyone and that includes the person you love. I love you for who you are. It doesn't require any changes. And juz because certain things occur and sometimes cause a change to whom you have become, it doesn't mean that I will stop loving you.
But somehow I felt like I disappointed her. I really want to stop.
Nope. You aren't disappointing me. Perhaps I was upset for a while. But yes I had to get over it. I realize that everyone is different. Each of us have our own pace in setting out things we wish to achieve. And although sometimes we wish to accomplish things as soon as possible, circumstances engulfing us do not allow us to.
Would You Still Love Me If I Smell Of Failure?
Ever since you entered my life, my world has been fragranced with sweetness. For today, I do not know how the others smell. The only aroma within me is the scent of you - that never changes.
And yes...
I would still love you.
The same way as yesterday. More for today. And most of all for tomorrow.
__________-HER-__________
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Thursday, February 05, 2004
|| || 10:21 pm ||
The Fear Of Losing You...
You know when you find this person - they mean the whole world to you. You yearn to see their face early in the morning. The very first thing you want to see is their face when you get up. When you wake up, you love it when the first message received is by that someone. His/Her voice is the last you want to hear before heading to bed. And you can just be on the phone with him/her even when you have nothing to speak about - when a silence is born the sweetness seen. When every single gift matters. And sometimes the sweet wrapper you still would love to keep. The tiny notes they pass is kept and read more than a million times. This someone...so special.
But there is this fear...
This fear that constantly lives in your heart when you find someone that you can closely relate to, someone that you wish to spend your everyday with and someone whom you love. This fear of losing this special person. It sets in very early in the days and haunts you right through the journey.
And when this fear sets in to your heart about losing this person, it makes you accumulate negative thoughts. Day by day it kills you and the thoughts just worsen over time. As you get closer with this special person you feel that you are going to lose this person soon. It is a weird unexplained feeling.
I do not know. But this fear... I have it too. I am afraid I may lose you. I do not want to. I hate to. But then again what if I am compelled to lose you? To let you go because I need to? What if this was meant to be only in our eyes not in the eyes of the rest and so the whole world is working against us? This journey what if one day it has to end and we only have memories to live with? What if the people we really loved all our lives are against us? What if I lose you too early?
I know everyone says that you should live for this moment and this moment only. That this moments should be cherished and that the tomorrows shouldn't be thought of. The future we should leave it for it to come. But that's the thing. I want the future to be spent with you. And thus I am thinking about it today. All the todays mould your tomorrows...
But will I lose you? Everything is so perfect now... It is just the fear of losing you right now and anytime in the future…I do not want to let you slip off my hands... instead I want to hold you longer even if it hurts...even if it bleeds... even if it kills.
But tomorrow no one knows... So if I have to go...If I have to let you go...
Then please know that
I loved you then... when you were in my arms
I love you now... when I let you slip off my hands
I love you forever... when I am dying to hold you close
For now I pray that I will never lose you... ever. I don't want to. Because I love you.
__________-HER-__________
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"Some
people plant in the spring,
And
leave in the summer.
If
you're signed up for a season, see it through.
You
don't have to stay forever,
but at
least stay until you see it through."
~
Jim Rohn
From Priya's entry dated 6 November 2005- suits us
perfectly.
!SPRING!
!AUTUMN!
!WINTER!
Azizah
Edleweiss
Haider
Hana
Hazelyn
Izad
Jessica
Kabetha
Latha
Lavan
Naresh
Sashi
Shelby
Soffie
Tania
Teddy
Vithya
Yi Qian
Blogger
Blogskins
Image
Forgettheflowers
mr.photoshop
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