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|| Wednesday, March 03, 2004 || || 1:05 am ||

I Miss Those Times

I miss those times..when I look up into the sky and know that the clouds are smiling back at me.
I miss those times..when I took time to look at a child playing at the playground with such joy.
I miss those times..when I walked alone the streets observing different types of people and families.
I miss those times..when I became mad and I start running around the places and start jumping around for no reason.
I miss those times..when I would go to the beaches to take long walks, listen to the waves and collect seashells.
I miss those times..when I lied on my bed and silently drowned myself with thoughts and then cry myself to sleep.
I miss those times..when I would speak to myself in the mirror and try to pretend that I was in a movie.
I miss those times..when I lied on mother's lap as she stroked me to sleep and she would sleep on me as well.
I miss those times..when I spoke crazily non stop and frightened all my friends around me.
I miss those times..when I would walk down a dark lane at night to admire the twinkling stars above.
I miss those times..when I spoke to God and tell Him how I really felt deep within.
I miss those times..when I had a dinner with my family and we spoke about everything that happened on that day.
I miss those times..when I could just look at anything in the street, find a place to sit and write something about it.
I miss those times..when I tried to make a friend who was feeling so down a little more happy for a particular day.
I miss those times..when I would write tiny notes to friends to encourage them in life.
I miss those times..when I spoke to my teddy bear and told him everything that was happening in my life.
I miss those times..when I purposely woke up hours earlier so that I could spend some time with my mother before she is off to her work.
I miss those times..when I would go to a movie marathon alone and just pig out in the theatre.
I miss those times..when I spent time with my cousin and listened to all his crapping.
I miss those times..when I played hide and seek with my friends in the school field.
I miss those times..when I was compelled by my father to write 100 lines of "I will have a neat handwriting soon" every week.
I miss those times..when I was just being myself I miss I miss I miss

You know my life has changed so much..but yet I miss all those times..those times when everything was just plainly simple. I realized that as I grow older situations still stay the same, but it is my thoughts that have changed how I look at things. It's really different right now. Many of my friends have told me that I shouldn't think alot. But I guess it is my thoughts that have crafted me to be the woman I am today. Sometimes I kill people around me with my thoughts..as in I cause them to worry or to feel the pain within my mind and thereby I would ruin the joy of the moment...I don't do it intentionally but its juz the way I am... And I am sorry to you! I should learn to control my thoughts and not let them control me...

I am trying
But when the emptiness of thoughts fill my mind... my heart weakens
And I realized that
That was how I was designed to be...

__________-HER-__________

 

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"Some people plant in the spring,
And leave in the summer.
If you're signed up for a season, see it through.
You don't have to stay forever,
but at least stay until you see it through."
~ Jim Rohn
 
From Priya's entry dated 6 November 2005- suits us perfectly.
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