<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d6111595\x26blogName\x3dThe+Four+*Charmed*+Seasons\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dSILVER\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://charmed-seasons.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_GB\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://charmed-seasons.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d9174100457615379434', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

|| Saturday, November 27, 2004 || || 12:12 am ||


I Can't Be HER

I can't be HER
The HER you want me to be
I can't
I can't
I hate the picture you are drawing
Consistently about HER
And HER future
I will never be that HER

I can't be the perfect daughter
For you and for the rest of the world
I am deliberately slashing your art
Deliberately
Even when I smile and talk to you
And promise you that I will make you proud
I still can't be HER
I slide away from your description

You do not see my dreams
You do not share my hopes
You do not wipe my tears
You do not know my love
You do not
I don't allow you to see me
I hide away
In fear, because I know you can't accept me

I can't be HER
I can't be your perfect daughter
And 'Sorry' I say
While walking away
Walking away far far away
I can't deny me
I can't forget everything
I can't walk towards anymore

I can't live up to HER
I will never be able to
I am trying, trying and worrying
Am such a disgrace
Wrapped with disgust
Giving so much distress
I am their art so distant
Soon, waiting to discard

I won't be HER

__________-HER-__________

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

|| Sunday, November 21, 2004 || || 4:15 pm ||


Never thought that love could feel like this
And you changed my world with just one kiss
How can it be that you are right here with me
There's an angel
Its a miracle
- God Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You-

10 Things I HATE About SIP

10. The irritating sounds at my office..the consistent ringing of the telephone..the noisy printer..the typing/clicking soung..grr
9. The heels....grr so painful =(
8. Binding...althou i dont get to do it very often..but it still sucks la
7. Not having time for myself..and that includes even resting..gosh
6. Getting a call at 5.58pm from my boss and then telling me stay for a while... which later becomes above 8pm!
5. The way secretaries are treated...HORRIBLE!
4. Not being able to spend quality time with my friends
3. The fucking air-con...kills my brain cells and my knee! gosh
2. Not being able to see HER! for lunch cuz she at the Courts at that time...sigh
1.COURT TRANSCRIPTS!!! GRRRRR

10 Things I LOVE About SIP

10. Free lunches at times
9. The pantry..always loaded with food
8. 6.00PM... I get to leave then if no OT la
7. Dress Down Fridays!! Anything on Fridays!! And no formal wear needed on the other days.. woohoo..but of course office wear.. not too revealing la..commonsense!
6.The People! my colleagues..so nice n caring...they always force me to eat my lunch when I stay over to finish work during lunch...very nice people
5. LawNet Access..of course only for office use! but I enjoy reading the cases!! =D
4. The little compliments from the boss when he likes what I have done...very encouraging
3. View from my building..WOO its magnificent.. the sea..the boats..the sky.. the beauty.. the sunset..all included
2. Just 5 mins away from HER building..so not so bad!! winkZ
1. After spending 9 hrs in the office... The sight of HER face waitin for me below my building... no words to describe the happiness, i tell u!

SIP is really tough! But am coping and getting used to things. It occupies my entire day.. so I don't have lots of time for myself..think, read, write or draw.. By the time I go home I am almost dead.. I dont even have the mood or energy to eat. That explains why I am not even online...Totally drained! I miss HER so fast nowadays. The moment we say bye I start missing her..terrible.. GOSH! And I don't even get to meet the seasons often...sucks.. hope you guys are getting along well.. I have to say that I am getting exposed really well in SIP.. Am gaining alot of experience. I am observing how people and friendships are so different in the workplace compared to school.. Perhaps bcuz at work, people have their own commitment with family and outside friend..but in school we are all like one big family cuz we work in teams and stuff like that..Its just so different..hmmm thats about it for SIP

Three Days of Birthday Celebration...

My birthday just passed on the 18th nov... i was sick on that day.. met HER after work at city hall cuz apparently she had to go orchard 1st..told me that she had to get sth for someone else..so i waited..n then she appeared..so nice! she got me this bend-able flower and I named her Raynbor (pronounced as Rainbow)! Raynbor has her girlfriend sitting on one of her yellow petals..her girlfriend is a ladybird and I named her Cristal..so pretty! then my duckie gave me a card..IT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! what she wrote and all... *blush* then we went to esplanade.. me sneezing away.. so nice of her to take good care of me..then then we went to thai express..pigged out as usual under the moonlight..the moon was so beautiful that day..it was smiling down on us! so nicE! then we walked walked walked..talked some serious stuff about work.. and had no more energy to do anything else.. we had to part to go home and that was the most sad part of the day..

then on the 19th..was invited to go for Sashi's birthday party - her bday was on the 15th! i came home half way from work cuz i was really sick my boss asked me to go home.. then I met my darlin at pasir ris mrt station..and then i had another present from her! she gave me a Froggie soft toy..in his underwear somemore..aicho..with his tongue sticking out.. his name is Slerpiee.. hehe then we met azizah! and i cldnt believe it when Azi gave me a prezzie for my bday! so nice! totally unexpected! Thanks azi I loved it.. it is a keyboard cushion..and i think its nicer to huggie n slp at night..got beans inside some more..scho nice!! =D then we got sashi's present and went to her place.. it was so nice! to meet some of the yr2s ther.. it felt like being in sch again! and hazel was gettin on so well with sashi's siblings..haha so cute.. then i got sashi's present! its a woof woof soft toy!!so niceeeeeeee!! btw he is sitting on my lap now..and his name is Choco..adapted from the word Chocolate..hehe

then i got surprise.. I was called out from the room and there was 2 cakes on the table..one with 18 n the other with 19 candles.. i was SHOCKED.. i didnt expect it all.. i dont even remember makin a wish b4 cuttin the cake..i was that shocked.. i cldnt believe it.. n the next moment i started crying.. i dont know.. it was SUCH a pleasant surprise n i swear i had no idea abt it..i didnt see it coming.. thankin sashi n her mother n all the others invited ther..its such a sweet memory..gosh..i cld cry now even.. oopz then sharita gave me her prezzie..it was this bracelet thingy..haha which she has to go adjust cuz too big..bwahhaa and a niceeeeee red earrings WEEE i like!

and on the 20th.. i went to HER place after fetchin her from work.. when we reached home the first thing we did was to head to the bed..erm to sleep ah!! as usual..haha and i saw her new toys.. Blurrie the Cow & Tammie the Tomato..haha damn cute.. (no offence to Lim Tammy..bwahah) we woke up after a while so as to eat... thats the only thing me and her do..besides one more thing which i am not going to reveal here..bwahah mama made spaghetti and it was so tasty!! wee!! yummy..we ate ate and ate.. then we lazed around as usual spoke to papa and mama..laughed like mad...took photos.. papa kept snapping every single move I made..gosh so embarrassing..

then another surprise.. they called me down.. and as i was coming down the steps they started singin Happy Birthday.. And I am like OMG! another cake?! WOOHOO! haha so nice.. and this time I remembered to make a wish.. hehe cuz they kept askin me to make a wish.. n i did.. hehe *WinkZ* dont tell u all! then I feed them cakie..so nice! take pictures.. n then i got more presents from them.. I was like some more? WEE..and my darlin had to make me open them there..And she ah so impatient helped me open them also... And guess wat? It was a red sling bag from mama.. n she has the same one as well.. its different & beautiful..i loved it.. then i got the magnetic words that cld be used to make poem from her..i had the poetry calender from Tammy last yr for my birthday n I always whined to my darlin that wished I had more words to do the poem it was v.challenging to do ..so she bought me the magnetic words!! damn nice!! =D then got more..i opened the other present..n it was a 2005 RAINBOW CALENDER!! and she told me this, "I bought you this so that you could see a rainbow every single day, everytime you want to. And I was lookin at another calender when this one fell onto the floor..n i knew i had to get it for you!" SO SWEET!! wished i cld give her sth, but well cldnt cuz mama papa ard..*shhh* haha and her papa damn helpful la..ask us to look into each other's eyes and take photo while i was opening the presents..damn helpful..haha

and i finally got the chance to go to church that day! YAY!!! I wanted to go on my bday...but i was glad i made it there ystd..finally made everything complete! my birthdays are gettin better.. My mum also gave me a chain + earrings one set thing..n my sister gave me a chain with a pendant that every1 seems to like..hehe..
I didnt expect so much for this birthday..I swear I didnt.. I wasnt even looking forward for it..But everything came.. So many people remembered my birthday..wished me n gave me presents...was so fulfilling.. so nice! like so many people cared.. thank you thank you thank you..in no particular order, special thanks to my Special Duckie Wuckie Darling, Mum (1st to wish me as always), Sis, Dad, Mama, Papa, Sashi, Sashi's pretty mum..haha, Latha & her sis, Sinthu, Sharita, Jasmine, Tammy, Haider, Durga (from my tamil sch..the only one i stil kip in touch, Tuty ( closest sec fren), the early wishes from Jespal (who was 1 mth early..he has NEVER gotten my bday right..haha), Edleweiss, Zul (was surprised), Lavan (another surprise), my mum's colleagues...hope i didnt miss any1 out...oopz.. but it was nice..so nice! my 18th bday was so nice too!! hehe winkZ its getting better each yr..wee..

thankies thankies thankies..i scho happy.. I have more things to blog..but then ah like so long already.. will blog pretty soon..

To My Darling, Don't worry about it ok.. Am glad that i didnt need to hide it from you.. Cant wait to see you again and spend more time with you.. i love you.. 1501 coming soon!

Next Blog Entry: Coming Really Soon

__________-HER-__________