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Monday, April 25, 2005
|| || 11:47 pm ||
Part Une.
He looked at the class and he asked.
Who do you think is great? Name me 1 great person.
Most answered with typical answers.
Goh Cheok Tong.
Mother Thereasa.
Leonardo Da Vinci
Manet
Mozart
Ferlin
;and assorted people that people felt were "Great" but never did know or never did understand or met personally.
but 1 person.
He said: "I dont know anyone great enough to be labelled as great."
He said what he really felt, that no one is "Great" in his light. He felt that no one is "Great" in their own right.
and then another person.
She said: "My Grandfather."
That day, in that class.
She who was the truest to herself and to the one she loved and felt was the greatest man in the world, was the most honest person in the class.
and the tutor said: " You should write a book about him."
Uptill today, I dont know if that book has been written. But it is not too late to start. Why? For the keyword is "about" and not "For".
Part Duex
Definition: Great
Remarkable or outstanding in magnitude, degree, or extent:
Of outstanding significance or importance:
Chief or principal: the great master of the house.
Superior in quality or character; noble:
“For he was great, for he made himself so and for the people who he loved, made him so.” (source unknown).
What I have to say is, in your own right, seeing him in your own light. He is great.
and that does not have to change one bit.
You loved him dearly.
You felt that he was a great man.
He was.
"was" is such a hard word to use. But then, its really in the past.
Have your heard of the song Walk On by U2?
A couple of verses if I may:
And love is not the easy thing....
The only baggage you can bring
Is all that you can't leave behind
(When he went, what was the thing that he could never leave behind?)
And if the darkness is to keep us apart
And if the daylight feels like it's a long way off
And if your glass heart should crack
And for a second you turn back
Oh no, be strong
(Death is like darkness. And if you get sad when you think about him, be strong. Be strong.)
Walk on, walk on
What you got they can’t steal it
No they can’t even feel it
Walk on, walk on...Stay safe tonight
(What you 2 had, was a special bond. No one can understand or feel it. Cherish it forever)
And I know it aches
And your heart it breaks
You can only take so much
Walk on
Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
(I know that it hurts. But I will never know how it feels for both grandparents to go in such a short period. But I will, if you tell me. But you got to leave the hurt behind. You have too.)
Part Trois
Dont you cry.
Even if it hurts like hell.
Dont you cry.
He would never like to see his most favoured grand daugther cry.
Cause if there is a heaven, there is only 1 place where he is going.
I dont have to tell you where he will be going for you already know.
If someone who bought up all his children and grandchildren has no where good to go after his life is over, its hardly fair is it? And that means thatt there is not much hope for the majority of mankind when they die.
I always look up to the sky when I think of my grandpop.
You should too.
You know why?
cause
He made it possible for you to see each break of dawn. He made it possible.
and remember, everytime you look to the sky, he is looking down at you too.
I took this photo on tuesday morning.
The morning that he went.
I dedicate this to him and you.
Part Quart
I know that what I say now, its only of minimal comfort to you.
In the Book David Copperfield, David's best friend, James, said this to David: "David, promise me, promise me that you will remember the best of me. The most beautiful memories that we had together and the smiles. The smiles david. Promise to never think of me in another light as such as this."
James died at sea soon after telling david this.
So remember the memories, the smiles and the best of him.
I know its difficult to smile now.
But smiling a little lesser each day, means a part of what he wanted you to do dying a little each day.
Smile for him. You have a great smile. Did he pass it on to you? I bet he did.
and smile for me too. If its not too much of a trouble.
nice entry eh? well... it's not written by me. A good friend wrote it for me a few days after my grandpa passed away.
I don’t know if I’ve said this before… but I really really appreciate it. Thank you friend.
And the picture you took… it’s now my laptops’s wallpaper. Thank you again. oh ya! thanks a-bit-clever friend for teaching me how to copy n paste this whole entry too...
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
|| || || 11:09 pm ||
Incomplete Entries... Incomplete Life...
[[[ 5th October 2004. He left that morning, possibly before I even woke up. Unknowingly, I went to school for my last paper as things were supposed to be. Nobody told me anything, I was kept in the dark. I did felt uneasy though, but it was normal for that to happen before a paper. Isn't it? Company law, I was completely blank up there when I read the paper, I wasn't able to write a single word when the time started. The thought of running out of the room, look for a spot to cry, crossed my mind. But I made it through the paper anyhow. It was the last paper, I was relieved. Now planning where to go and have fun with my seasons.
Checked my handphone when I left the classroom. Missed call. It was my Mummy. Called back.
"Mummy, you called?"
"finished your exam already?"
"yupz"
"still in school? Where you going now?"
"ya. Going out with my friends."
"you not going to Ah Kong's place?"
"huh? Why?"
"Ah Kong passed away."
Paused... I didn’t know how to react. What could I have said...
"When?"
"this morning... early this morning... in the middle of the night."
"how come nobody told me?"
My mum didn’t know how to reply to that. But I knew why...
Why? Too soon... too close...
the last thing you said to me... in my dream...
"Ah Kong understand."
and all i could do was kneel before you... hold on to your leg... and cry... ]]]
[[[ The forest ablaze
The road unwind
The sky thundering
The lovers kissing
The waves destroy
The children playing
The volcano erupts
The books flip
The earth cracks
The smile speaks
The stars hide
The hope lives
The rain slams
The hurt vanish
The wind howling
The tourists relaxing
The moon frowning
The doctors heal
The flowers wither
The ..... ]]]
[[[ "The chariot indicates a journey. A journey will often bring one full circle, back to the beginning. But just because one ends where one begins does not imply lack of movement. The movement takes place within.
The chariot may test you by taking you through places of great confusion. Any major evolution captures the attention of evil. So beware." ---Gautama Chopra
We fall in love, be in a relationship and then lose everything, heartbroken, no lover.
Back to square one? Maybe not. You're back with lessons learnt. Smarter, more aware.
Well, maybe the reason of getting into that relationship is not to find the right one who you will live happily ever after with. But to learn lessons that will help you find prince charming and to treat prince charming right and to get your happily ever after.
I have learnt a whole loads from the relationship just passed.
Patience. Like I have told a friend, it gives you the time to fall in, out, and back in love again.
When you finally meet, you'll have no time to find fault and create unwanted arguments.
Maybe you're right... out of sight, out of mind. ]]]
[[[ Bashful. Innocent. Red car. Blue and white striped long-sleeve shirt. Charming. Firm grip. Nice touch. Stealing glances. Shy smile. Weird handphone. Doesn’t matter… nice car. 3rd class. 18th April 2005. 25th April. 9th May? Dance? Name? Number? We'll see... ]]]
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
|| || || 10:32 pm ||
Bits & piece... from...
Paulo Coelho's
By The River Piedra I Sat Down & Wept.
At least I’ve explained how I feel, I thought. The love he was talking about only exists in fairytales.
In real life, love has to be possible. Even if it is not returned right away, love can only survive when hope exists that you will be able to win over the person you desire.
Anything else is fantasy.
Lovers need to know how to lose themselves and then how to find themselves again.
Love is a trap.
When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows.
There’s nothing deeper than love.
In fairytales, the Princesses kiss the frogs, and the frogs become Princes.
In real life, the Princesses kiss the Princes, and the Princes turn into frogs.
I knew he was going to turn my world upside down. My brain warned me, but my heart didn’t want to take its advice.
I’ve paid a considerable price for the little I have gained. I’ve been forced to deny myself many things I’ve wanted, to abandon so many roads that were open to me. I’ve sacrificed my dreams in the name of a larger dream --- a peaceful soul. I didn’t want to give up that peace.
The universe always helps us fight for our dreams, no matter how foolish they may be. Our dreams are our own, and only we can know the effort to keep them alive.
Happiness is something that multiplies when it is divided.
For years, I had fought against my heart, because I was afraid of sadness, suffering, and abandonment. But now I knew that true love was above all that and that it would be better to die than to fail to love.
I had thought that only others had the courage to love. But now I discovered that I too was capable of loving. Even if loving meant leaving, or solitude, or sorrow, love was worth every penny of its price.
May that love grow in me and in the man to whom it is dedicated.
Wait. This was the first lesson I had learned about love. The days drags along, you make thousands of plans, you imagine every possible conversation, you promise to change your behaviour in certain ways --- and you feel more and more anxious until your loved one arrives. But by then, you don’t know what to say. The ours of waiting have been transformed into tension, the tension has become fear, and the fear makes you embarrassed about showing affection.
I looked at the Other, there in one corner of the room --- fragile, exhausted, disillusioned. Controlling and enslaving what should really be free: her emotions. Trying to judge her future loves by the rules of her past suffering.
But love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice, or a dozen times in our life, we always face a brand new situation. Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply have to accept it, because it is what nourishes our existence. If we reject it, we die of hunger, because we lack the courage to stretch out a hand and pluck the fruit from the branches of the tree of life. We have to take love where we find it, even if that means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness.
The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us.
And to save us.
I think that when we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love. If one person really wants us, everyone does. But if we’re alone, we become even more alone. Life is strange.
"A boy and a girl were insanely in love with each other. They decided to become engaged. And that’s when presents are always exchanged.
The poor boy --- his only worthwhile possession was a watch he’d inherited from his grandfather. Thinking about his sweetheart’s lovely hair, he decided to sell the watch in order to buy her a silver barrette.
The girl had no money herself to buy him a present. She went to the shop of the most successful merchant in the town and sold him her hair. With the money, she bought a gold watchband for her lover.
When they met on the day of the engagement party, she gave him the wristband for a watch he had sold, and he gave her the barrette for the hair she no longer had."
__________~*~SpRiNg * tAmZ~*~__________
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Sunday, April 17, 2005
|| || 11:36 pm ||
Dear Seasons,
RE: THE NEXT SEASONS' DATE
I, Miss Autumn, would like to meet up with three of you, Miss Summer, Miss Spring and Miss Winter on 28th April 2005, Thursday at 6.30pm at any place mutually agreed by all four seasons. If there is no mutual agreement, please bear in mind that Miss Autumn, as usual, will have the honour to decide.
Please confirm with me as soon as possible. If you cannot make it on the abovementioned date/time, please do make your suggestion.
If there are any queries, please do not hesitate to call me. I am looking forward to your respective replies that could be in the form of a blog entry/phone call/short message service or tag board message.
Yours faithfully,
Autumn
__________-HER-__________
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Friday, April 01, 2005
|| || 10:22 pm ||
The Secret Lives (Following 'The Secret')
Like as though slaved to the doors
That open to a dissatisfaction of touch
The transient joy that circulates an unreal
Imagination cannot be seen or even felt
By the stripped knowledge of clarity
A frozen ice melting the depths within the truth
Yet forsaking the goodness from the sweetened taste
The request of this secret fashions permanence without a doubt
The numbness concealed by the drab monochromed artwork
Promises that are no longer pregnant with their meaning
Importations of phony that created a florid style of a perfection
Despite the utter incredulity the lachrymose disposition faded
Prevarications that were purchased by the lingering smiles
The prosody wrapped in each line craves some form of thawing
Revelations under the blossomed could cause astonishment
Yet a rising feeling of compunction the slashing guilt
The reticence refusing to resuscitate the dead consciousness
Yet appalled at the fact of being alive and walking with lies
The willingness of gently removing what is beneath
There is no chances of reaching an impasse without
Because of the constant impetus to say yes
Imperceptible therefore usually forgotten and inhumed
Imparting it in which the secret will officially die
__________-HER-__________
|| || || 12:19 am ||
The Secret
Simplifying the complicated by drawing shadows of hopes
Predicting a little change in the unexpressed
Wishing the sound of the wind could still hear
The depths of the untold heart that still hides desperately
What lies beneath this whirlpool of emotions
Cries of happiness that moulds the uncertainties before
That flooded doubts have suddenly burnt off in the darkness
Leaving ashes of future puzzled all around the path
With tired legs picking all the promised flakes of snow
Yet traces of the rain glisten too much for the heart
The hoi polloi throwing what cannot be felt within the rejected
Vowing and outstripping everything else that once was needed
Buried under the rapt glory of love suddenly mysteriously flown
Changes of the situation that are so disliked
The heart tightened by the sterility of the emotions
Extricate this illusion drawn with the colours of rainbow
Like the juxtaposition of black with the purities of white
Whispering in the twilight to the millions of twinkling stars above
For them to delve the secrecy in what is now revealed
Before the cresent moon which is constantly smiling
Oblivious to what is hidden in the bright rays of the sun
Catches the rhyme in this poem and delineates the heart's future
By its disappearance that lasts above forever
__________-HER-__________
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"Some
people plant in the spring,
And
leave in the summer.
If
you're signed up for a season, see it through.
You
don't have to stay forever,
but at
least stay until you see it through."
~
Jim Rohn
From Priya's entry dated 6 November 2005- suits us
perfectly.
!SPRING!
!AUTUMN!
!WINTER!
Azizah
Edleweiss
Haider
Hana
Hazelyn
Izad
Jessica
Kabetha
Latha
Lavan
Naresh
Sashi
Shelby
Soffie
Tania
Teddy
Vithya
Yi Qian
Blogger
Blogskins
Image
Forgettheflowers
mr.photoshop
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Our Memories
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[c]
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