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Tuesday, December 06, 2005
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As The Year Ends - 2005
(Part I - Reciting 2005 Again)
Sneaking into the year 2006 in less than a month would mean that its time for an entry that basically summarizes the year 2005.
I recall January 2005, probably the only month of the year that brought me real happiness - it doesn't mean that I was depressed and wrapped with the symphonies of melancholy the rest of the year; it just means that the rest of the year did not turn out as how I expected it to be. Then again, its in the expectations that we plant that often makes us upset.
I remembered rushing through the projects in February and mugging for the exams in March. By April, we were unofficially free from school and I dumped myself in a law firm within 3 weeks. I guess that is when things soured.
May, June and July 2005 were the most horrible months of 2005 - bringing in the ultimate change in my life. Now that sounds overly dramatic but I really think it was. And the rest of the year has been basically stitching back the broken pieces of my heart. Thank God for August - my new joy and of course Tammy as well. I finally saw hope in August 2005 and things started brightening up! As the months went by, I realized I actually grew happier and crazier as I was working with Tammy. I really have to admit that besides influencing her to my crazy side as well, I got to know her in more personal way and in a way it is enriching. It is like you're already close to this friend but you are getting to know the person in another higher level.
November overtook all the misery of the past few months and erased them all away - only for a transient moment though. Then Jasmine came into our office on the 21st and woo-la! we became more crazy. Now we get to steal time from work and sit down and chit chat for a moment or so. Having Jasmine around, kind of reinforces my goals in my head. Because Jasmine is a very goal-ridden person and having her around motivates you in the strangest ways.
Now in December, as usual, I am bumping into the 'Prohibited' walls of thinking and drowning into my own uncalled for heartache. But of course I have Sharita, throwing me back to reality and chasing me from la-la land. Decembers are always heartache for me, only this year it started out so much earlier than compared to other years.
I don't think I am looking forward for Christmas this year - it is the first time this is happening ever! And even the Christmas tree is not out for display this year, plainly because we are not celebrating this time round. Hell! It is going to be so weird without Dad around but last Christmas was the best I ever had. Just did not expect it to be the last best. Unless something better happens - but it will be the last best I spent with my entire family.
2005, followed by 1995, will be yet another year that I will not forget, I can't forget. I don't think anyone would be able to forget the memories of a year in which he/she lost a parent. Yep, indeed!
I recalled the year 1996. It was not that different from 1995, just a centimeter better. But 1996 was overcoming the memories of1995, overcoming the pain that 1995 put me through. I fear 2006 would be spent like that. I am pretty certain that May - June 2006 will not be good though.
Well, standing on the 6th day of December 2005 which happens to be my parents' 24th Wedding Anniversary, and glancing through the vivid memories of what 2005 brought me, I only have one thing to seriously scream out loud and that is I have absolutely "emerged stronger". I have become this woman I cannot believe this is me - this after all was not me a year ago. Next Entry: As The Year Ends - 2005 (Part II: Paving Myself Into 2006)
__________-HER-__________
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"Some
people plant in the spring,
And
leave in the summer.
If
you're signed up for a season, see it through.
You
don't have to stay forever,
but at
least stay until you see it through."
~
Jim Rohn
From Priya's entry dated 6 November 2005- suits us
perfectly.
!SPRING!
!AUTUMN!
!WINTER!
Azizah
Edleweiss
Haider
Hana
Hazelyn
Izad
Jessica
Kabetha
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Lavan
Naresh
Sashi
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Yi Qian
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